Neural Re-wiring
What is it? How does it work? How will it help?
In a post a couple of days ago, I was thinking ‘aloud’ as it were about attachment theory, insecure attachment styles, and so on. One of the points that came up was this concept of neural re-wiring, but I didn’t go into detail there.
In general, building habits begins ‘with a three-part loop that causes psychological responses in the brain and is then stored in the basal ganglia’. These loops are constantly engaging whether we are conscious of them or not, or whether they are reinforcing habits we want to encourage, like healthy exercise or eating patterns, or habits we are trying to undo, like couch potato-ing or junk food sprees.
Habits, whether good or bad, stick due to the reward processes in the brain. Even if the action is not good for us in the long run, it provides a short term sense of happiness and pleasure, leading the brain to store the process and repeat it when cued…
Researchers from MIT have discovered that habits providing immediate rewards are easier to pick up whereas those with delayed rewards are harder to condition. Again, that is why getting to the gym can be so hard. When the pounds aren’t shedding immediately or muscles are not bulking up, the brain does not feel any sense of reward, making the act of exercising that much harder.
Luckily, humans have the power to rewire their own brains, literally.
The article goes on to talk about how mindfulness, by refocusing attention and helping a person embrace their current reality non-judgmentally, helps them identify thoughts as entities that do not necessarily need to be listened to or actied upon, so they can begin to short-circuit the automatic reactions to those thoughts and begin the rewiring process.
Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural pathways throughout life and in response to experiences. While the brain usually does this itself in response to injury or disease, when humans focus their attention enough, they can slowly rewire these pathways themselves.
The author of this author, Grace Weintrob, presents a five-part framework for creating positive habits:
Discover: Why does your goal matter to you? Why is it important?
Diagnose: What is blocking you from achieving your goal? Remove that roadblock.
Prescribe: What steps do you need to take to achieve your goals? Write out a personalized plan that suits your schedule, interests, and skills.
Practice: Ditch the all-or-nothing mindset. If you mess up or do not stick exactly to plan, that’s okay. Get back on the horse and keep trying. Five minutes of a good habit can eventually build to a half-hour or more!
Pause: Schedule time to sit and reflect on your efforts, results, and mindset. Reflecting is crucial to building new pathways in the brain.
Now that we’ve looked at neural re-wiring in general, what of the specific habits or loops that have to do with attachment?
So, you have been reading articles on attachment and realize that you have an insecure attachment style. Now what?…
Now I am going to present some ways for you to begin rewiring your emotional system and changing your schema, or roadmaps, for what you expect to happen in relation to other people (i.e., your attachment style).
The article goes on to mention the canard of people only using 10 percent of their brains.
Well, that is patently false. We use all of our brains most of the time. What the statement really means is that relatively little of our brains is directly involved in what we would consider conscious processing. Most of our brain processes are automatic and are carried out below the level of our conscious awareness.
Apparently our feelings are largely governed by the limbic system and specifically the amygdala.
The amygdala is an automatic processor and storehouse of emotional memories. When information comes into your brain from your senses, it goes to a relay station called the thalamus. The thalamus sends this information to two places: to your cortex for conscious processing (i.e., you can think about what just happened) and directly to the amygdala for a quick determination of whether the incoming information represents a threat. The amygdala is a “dirty” processor. Its primary job is to make a yes/no decision: threat or no threat.
If the amygdala decides there is a threat, it triggers an adrenaline response before the conscious cortex can reflect on what happened. Once the cortex catches up, if it reinforcing the yes of threat, it messages the amygdala.
An interesting aspect of the way our emotional systems respond to incoming data is that it doesn’t matter whether the data are ‘real’ or based on imagination.
This means you can modify your emotional processes intentionally using imagination, voice, and words.
New memories and emotions literally rewire your brain. The brain is very adaptable. Those connections that you use a lot get strengthened. Those that you don’t use get pruned away and weakened. So, if you have been stuck in a cycle of recalling painful memories or imagining anxiety-provoking interactions or heartbreak, these circuits will be well established and readily triggered.
This is why the use of positive affirmations can be a game changer. It doesn’t matter if at first you do not believe the affirmation that you have written on a cue card and read regularly. In a way, you’re recording a new tape internally - there are many old tapes that have been recorded over your life so far due to a plethora of experiences and beliefs, leading to the chatter of internal dialogue, which can be quite negative.
In terms of efficacy of ‘recording’ tapes, the author cites advertising jingles from up to 50 or more years ago that can be recited word for word for one reason: repetition. In the 70s, people were exposed to a level of marketing through television and radio advertising that is hard to reproduce today for the streaming generation. So repetition was incredibly intense.
Practice saying things like: “I can do this; I’m as skilled as anyone else in this room”; “No one knows I’m anxious”; “I’m going to do great.”
If you don’t think in words, since not everyone does, you can learn by practising. For example, by doing narrated walks.
Mirror work can be very helpful too. Look into the mirror and say sincerely, “I love you”. Sure, it will feel weird at first, maybe very uncomfortable. But with practice it can become natural. More importantly, your emotional system is recording someone looking at you saying I love you. It doesn’t matter that it is you! Rewiring is happening.
Do imaginal inner child work using creative visualization.
It’s ok if you are one of many people who did not grow up surrounded by people always cheering you on and loving you no matter what. You can imagine your inner child and talk to them about how you are always going to be there for them, no matter what, and how much you love them.
I hope you find reading this and the linked articles as encouraging as I have. You can re-wire your attachment. You do not have to stay stuck. There is hope.
You are loved.