Here
The power of simply showing up, day after day, regardless. The cost of absence.
Life is a marathon, not a sprint. The level of presence that is required to show up for those in your life over and over, on good days and terrible ones, is terrifyingly high, especially when inevitably you miss the mark and fail to be there.
Continuing to think about Advent, I feel that those last anxious days for Mary must have been extremely difficult. She was about to have her first child far from home and without the support that for women throughout the ages has often literally been a life or death matter. Having a skilled midwife and everything else home could have afforded her to hold her up in this dangerous moment still wouldn’t have made it easy. But it was much harder without them.
This article reflects on the placental connection Mary had with Jesus
There is a tendency in art and sermons to skip quickly over how bewildering and terrifying it must have been for Mary to have her first baby under possibly the worst circumstances, what labour pains there might have been on and off for days or even weeks before. So few images of Mary heavily pregnant and so many of her serene with her child.
Having had three children in modern hospitals with every expectation of both myself and my child surviving and thriving, I shudder to think of what this girl went through without any such assurance. The level of trust Mary needed at this point of her personal marathon called life was unreal. The strength to believe and persevere and keep believing and persevering through all of the anxieties about finding a place they could stay, the shock of realizing that her baby would come in a stable, of all places!
In this instance, too, Mary demonstrated how uniquely suited she was to this role only one woman in history would have, to be so present to God that through her, God became present to all humankind in an entirely new and world-changing way.
When I look back over the years, I remember very few gifts I received. But I remember so clearly and with a depth of gratitude the times dear friends and family members were there for me when I needed them the most. Simply showing up, being present was the greatest gift that could be given.
I also know with grief I wasn’t there for others, times I longed to be, peering up from the bottom of a well of depression or some other illness. The pain and disappointment others experienced when they reached out and I was absent broke or damaged relationships.
In my version of my personal marathon called life, the sprint has always been much more appealing. Beginning a new and exciting initiative, making a new friend… The starts with a lot of dust raised, many flourishes. The hard slog of it, though, has often met with an inner Nope.
It is becoming increasingly clear how necessary the perseverance is of remaining present and engaged, in the face of flagging energies or other obstacles. Just as I rely heavily on the presence of everyone important to my life, from God to my husband to my close friends and family, I have come to understand how critical it is for me to remain present to them all.
For that kind of perseverance though, deep rest on a regular basis will be necessary as well as the other wellness practices I have discussed in previous posts. And being open to new means of being renewed and strengthened to serve all the way through the marathon.
In these last days of Advent, I remain awed by Mary. So young and at the same time profoundly faithful on a path that would eventually lead to a horrifying crucifixion of her beloved first born son.
Here I am. Here.